A few weeks go I shared some honest words about the hardships of entrepreneurship. I wrote how for close to a year and a half, I wasn’t sure if I was meant for this career. For months I was actually telling myself (and close friends) that I was going to be transitioning away from weddings and heading into corporate America. I know… totally the backwards and opposite way of doing things, right?! But I was lost. I knew I LOVED being a part of the most amazing time in a couple’s life, I just didn’t know if I was truly equipped to handle all of the demands of this job as a wedding photographer.
This summer I found myself a DC office, sitting at a table surrounded by 7 other adults, undergoing a panel interview for what I thought was going to be my career. It was thrilling, exciting, and looked promising… but the next morning I was out shooting a sunrise engagement session when I just felt God show up. I remember praying on the way to this shoot that God would allow me to capture this couple authentically and to just serve and love them well and I ended up having one of the most amazing and rewarding sessions of my career as a photographer. I could write a book about how that shoot was a turning point for me. It came just as I was finishing up a devotional series on Ruth that showed me how God continues to unveil His plan even in the midst of our every day human decisions. It was almost as if God was showing me how no matter what I choose, as long as my heart seeks to glorify Him wherever I am in life, He will take care of the rest.
A few days later, I got the job. They even met my higher salary request, offered me a VERY attractive benefits and incentives program, and it was truly an incredible non-profit that I know I would have LOVED to be a part of… but when it came down to it, I just didn’t feel like I was meant to be there. I felt like the Lord had whispered in the sweetest way to me that He loves me, He cares for me, and He gave me an incredible gift for photography that is impacting lives and even though I could have had an impact and inspired others elsewhere, if I chose to keep doing it here in this way, He would provide for all of my needs. My greatest fear this past year and a half was that He wouldn’t do just that.
Since turning down that job offer, I have booked three of my highest wedding collections to date, had a wedding for the sweetest couple featured on a well-known wedding blog, shot an engagement session one week at the edge of the Pacific Ocean and the next week on the shores of the Atlantic, received the sweetest emails from my INCREDIBLE brides, connected with my couples in a way I feel I never had before, and perhaps most importantly, cried SO many tears. I’ve never had a heart that feels so full after having a session rejected for publication or during consultations with couples that might not even book me. I have this sweet, newfound hope and confidence that Jesus is at the center of my business and He’ll do with it what He always meant to, since He first knit me together in my mother’s womb. He’s in the midst of the every day, the mundane, the crazy, the stressful, the months without booking, the days I book three weddings in a single hour, that precious, quiet moment a bride steps into her dress and she’s so radiantly beautiful that I imagine this is what Christ must see when He looks at His church. God, marriage is beautiful. And it’s an honor in every sense of the word to get to be the one entrusted to capture it.
So it goes without saying that I am SO excited for what the future holds for this little business of mine. I guess this is as good a time as ever to announce…
Thanks in advance to the incredible Meg Long for all of her hard work these past few months! I can’t WAIT to see everything go live in just 7 days!!! P.S. There WILL be giveaways!!!! We’ll be celebrating the launch of the new MKP brand ALL next week!!! Stay tuned!!!!
Wow did I need this this morning. I literally woke up today thinking about how I haven’t booked a wedding in a month after raising my prices and there are others I know whose businesses have started after mine and seem to be getting more successful and it seriously had me doubting myself and my business. But when I read this it made me feel better because I am not yet a full-time photographer and that’s all I want, but seeing someone whose reached that point but thought they weren’t meant to do this put things into perspective. I think everyone goes through things like this being an entrepreneur whether you’re successful or not you had success. I think just like God showed you you WERE meant for this life with that sunrise session, he showed me by reading this post of yours that everyone goes through times of self doubt but it doesn’t mean it’s the end.
Aww Lindsay, thank you so much for sharing that. I totally get it. It’s hard to not fall into the trap of comparison and constantly checking ourselves with whether we are “matching up” to others. I remind myself every day that my concept of success is created for my own life. That sometimes means less shoots & less weddings for more time with my husband and an overall healthier and happier lifestyle. So, if I see someone is booking double the number what I am, it isn’t so tempting to compare or feel less than… thinking of you and praying for you. Set your own unique goals and put your “blinders” on and just focus on what you are doing and not what is happening with others and we will both be so much happier that way!